Silly Sign Sunday™ – Another “Funny” Blog Post

"Security Guard" sign

What’s with quotation marks on signs? I worry when I see Employees Must “Wash Hands” in restaurant bathrooms. Or All You Can Eat “Fish.”
But sometimes the quotes can be eerily truthful, as on this guard house.
What quotation marks have you noticed?
Anyway, have a “nice day.”



Silly Sign Sunday™ – Truth in Advertising

church sign about hell

I heard our new pastor preach for the first time this weekend.
It just so happened that the Gospel reading (Luke 13:22-30) was about who will and will not be saved. So, that’s what Father Joe covered.
His homily was longer than we’re used to but it was actually pretty good.
It wasn’t hell. It wasn’t even purgatory.



Silly Sign Sunday™ – Get a Life, Pokelosers

Pokemon sign

Not everyone is a fan of the new Pokemon Go craze.
My nephews were playing it while I was on vacation with them in Atlantic City last week. It seems like good, clean fun, as long as you’re careful.
Although we did see a young man playing in the center island on Atlantic Avenue as vehicles zipped by on either side. My nephews called that Darwinism in action.


photo: imgur/reddit

Silly Sign Sunday™ – Jesus, Take the Yoke

co-pilot church sign

I’m back to blogging after a break due to a family tragedy.
I used to have this saying on a bumper sticker on my car.
It’s a good reminder that I am not the main one in charge in my life, and that’s okay.


Phobia Friday™ – Here, Kitty, Kitty

tiger on leash

I have an outdoor cat named Einstein. He’s very friendly and gentle and shouldn’t scare anyone, unless you have severe ailurophobia.
But what if you came across a tiger walking around in your neighborhood? That’s what happened yesterday to Jonathan Gessner in Conroe, Texas, a suburb of Houston.
“It looked at me, I looked at it, and it came running towards me and jumped on me and just started licking me in the face and playing with me,” Gessner said. (The Courier of Montgomery County)
Gessner didn’t mention anything about having to change his underwear.
The tiger was even wearing a collar and a leash. She’s now at the local animal shelter waiting for someone to claim her.



photo: Jason Fochtman

Phobia Friday™ – Keep Calm and Don’t Faint

wounded egg

The college nurses visited my satellite campus yesterday to give us a training on what to do in the event of a medical emergency. I get a little squeamish at anything medical, especially blood (hemophobia) and needles (trypanophobia). So, I don’t know how much use I would be with my eyes closed the whole time.
Fortunately, the training could be summed up with: when in doubt, call 911. That I can handle.



Phobia Friday™ – Keeping His Loved Ones Safe

seatbelted beer

I took my cat Einstein to the vet today for a checkup and made sure I restrained his carrier with a seatbelt for the trip there. It seems some people have other priorities.
An Australian man was so afraid of damage to his beer bottles (cenosillicaphobia is the fear of running out of beer), that he made sure his two cases of beer were securely buckled in for the car ride home.
The problem? The children in the car were not buckled in. Charges are pending.



photo: Kimberley District – WA Police

Silly Sign Sunday™ – Who Will Teach the Teachers?

vehicle toad sign

I’ve seen some horrible spelling from my community college students and even from some college graduates. Will there be any literate people left in America to make our signs?
Maybe this learning academy just asked one of their toddlers to make the sign in arts and crafts.


Phobia Friday™ – Let the Games Begin 1

Happy April Fool’s Day. It’s a good day to stay in bed if you have pharsaphobia – the fear of pranks.
The practical jokers will be out in force, especially as it’s a workday, and a Friday!
Here are some examples. You’ve been warned.

april fool pranks



photos:, rantlifestyle, popularmechanics, imgur

Phobia Friday™ – “It’s a Practice Lightsaber”

swat team

My first college, Farmingdale State in Long Island, had a little scare this week, and was in lockdown. Apparently, a student called police to report seeing another student with a weapon. Turns out it was a lightsaber.
Maybe the caller suffers from photophobia. Or he’s just more of a Trekkie.



photo and story:

Silly Sign Sunday™ – Something for Everyone in Vegas

dog sign

Had a great time in Las Vegas this week. We stayed at the Flamingo, which has flamingos, pelicans, geese, ducks, parrots, etc. on the grounds.
But I missed my dog. Turns out I could have brought him (for $75 extra PER NIGHT).
It’s just as well I didn’t. He has terrible luck at the slot machines, and he doesn’t know when to walk away.


Silly Sign Sunday™ – Taking DIY Too Far

homemade license plate

Homemade items are all the rage now on sites like Etsy. And they can be a charming alternative to mass-produced goods.
But there are some things that should not get the homemade touch. Near the top of that list are license plates. States tend to frown on that kind of thing. As a woman not far from me in the Buffalo area found out this week when she was pulled over for sporting this beauty on the back of her car.
Although, if you like to make license plates, prison may be just the place for you.



Phobia Friday™ – Wardrobe Emergency

girl and deputy

Most people have some discomfort with being nude, some even to the point of gymnophobia. But would you resort to calling 911? That’s what one South Carolina girl did when she couldn’t get her pants on. Although she is only two years old.
The girl’s grandfather was home but did not know about the call until Sheriff’s deputy Martha Lohnes showed up. Then the girl, Aaliyah, came running out with half a pant leg on. Deputy Lohnes not only helped Aaliyah finish putting on her pants, but she tied her shoes too, and received a hug for her service.
So, next time you have trouble getting your pants on, perhaps from more eating than exercise during the winter months, help is just a phone call away.



photo and story source:

Phobia Friday™ – Waiting for the Bloody Mail

blood on mail

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor, apparently, bleeding keeps mail carriers from their appointed rounds.
Not too far from me in Olean, New York, postal customers found a little something extra on their letters and packages: the mailman’s blood. The mail carrier had cut himself on a damaged side view mirror but wanted to finish his route.
I don’t know if any of the residents on that route have hemophobia, but many were a little freaked out. Some wore hospital gloves to open their mail. One guy even scrubbed his mailbox with bleach.
As for me, I admire the mail carrier’s dedication. At my house, the mail doesn’t arrive until after 5:00 pm. But it is blood-free.


photo: Kelsey Boudin/Olean Times Herald

Phobia Friday™ – When Your Car Is Not Exactly Where You Left It

cars fall through ice

This weekend my area hosts the annual Ice Festival on Chautauqua Lake. I hope the people who attend are smarter about where to park than some of the drivers at last weekend’s Winterfest on Lake Geneva in Wisconsin.
It seems that good parking spaces were hard to come by. So, some people decided to park on the surface of the lake. The ice should hold. Right?
A little pagophobia (fear of ice or frost) would have been a healthy thing here.



Photo: Daniel Gaitan via Twitter

Silly Sign Sunday™ – L is for Losers?

roman numerals on sign

Can I ask the sports fans out there a math question?
Many people have trouble with roman numerals (as with these geniuses from the class of 2015). But the NFL persists in using them for the Super Bowls, even when they get complicated like last year’s XLIX.
Now that the number can finally be expressed with a simple “L” why suddenly switch to regular numbers?
Just wondering.



Phobia Friday™ – Heads Up

Korean hot air balloons

Ma, he’s littering on my side of the room.
But he started it.
Sound familiar?
It’s not two kids squabbling this time. It’s North and South Korea.
According to the, when North Korea conducted its fourth underground nuclear test in early January, South Korea responded by sending balloons carrying propaganda across the border.
Within a week, the North responded by floating balloons into the South filled with used toilet paper, cigarette butts, and propaganda messages. They were fitted with a timer and small explosive device designed to drop the unpleasant payload in South Korean territory.
Trash falling from the sky. That’s enough to give anyone a trash phobia.
What’s next? A burning bag of dog poop at the border crossing?



Photo: NY Daily News / Getty Images

Phobia Friday™ – A Rude Awakening


Many times I’ve had a dog or cat on my chest in bed. But how would you like to wake up with this creature on top of you, caressing your face? That’s what happened to a 99-year-old Miami woman this week.
Even if you don’t have agrizoophobia, the fear of wild animals, you might need a change of underwear after that.
The woman called her son-in-law, who rushed over and trapped the animal. It turned out to be a kinkajou, a member of the raccoon family that looks more like a monkey. The handsome guy is named Banana and is actually someone’s pet that escaped.



Photo: South Dade Animal Hospital

Phobia Friday™ – Up Periscope

snow-covered car

With a big snowstorm about to hit the east coast, make sure you have a good snow brush in your car. And use it.
Not like this 80-year-old Canadian man who was pulled over and ticketed this week for not clearing the snow off his windshield.
If you have ergophobia (fear of work) maybe you shouldn’t live in the snow belt. Or else, get yourself some really powerful windshield wipers.


photo courtesy Ontario Provincial Police


Silly Sign Sunday™ – We Can Help You Lurn

Tudoring sign

As the spring semester begins this week, I let new students know that free tutoring is available to help them get through their college classes.
We have an excellent tutor on my satellite campus, a professor with a master’s degree. I wonder what qualifications the telephone pole “Tudor” has.


Thanks to Pene Hutton for sending me the photo.

Phobia Friday™ – Control Click THIS

child on phone

My mother and my mother-in-law are each embarking on the same project this week: learning how to use a smart phone. When I signed my mom up for an iphone class at the Apple store, I told her to be sure and mention that she used to work for the phone company, so they would give her a front seat.
I give them credit for being willing to learn. Technology has changed enormously in their lifetime. Some older people have technophobia, and want nothing to do with computers, tablets, and smart phones. It’s just too much to take in.
Meanwhile, last week my 22-year-old niece was marveling at an old typewriter she found in her grandparents’ basement. I had to show her what the different buttons and levers do, which was a nice change.
I wonder what weird new technology I’ll have to deal with in my old age.



Phobia Friday™ – Be Somebody

Dummies books

“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin

It’s time to make those New Year’s resolutions. As long as you don’t have tropophobia – fear of change.
I plan to write more consistently this year: at least 500 words per day, 5 days a week. And achieve at least 8,000 steps per day with my new Fitbit. And I’m using the Duolingo app to learn Gaelic (Irish).
So, Athbhliain faoi shéan is faoi mhaise!


Bossier Press


Phobia Friday™ – Christougenniatiko Dentrophobia

Tis the season . . . for Christmas Trees. Unless you have Christougenniatiko dentrophobia.
If so, you’re safe at our house. We haven’t put a tree up in years. Between the dog and the cat and always visiting family for Christmas, it wasn’t worth the bother anymore.
When we did have a tree, I had to secure it to the ceiling. Otherwise, the cats would climb it, and . . . timber!
Kind of like in this video compilation.





Silly Sign Sunday™ – Take This Job and . . .

safe combo on sign

Some people don’t know how to leave a job gracefully.
Contrast that with the other counselor I work with, Laurel, who is leaving at the end of the semester. She’s making sure she leaves us in good shape, and is even coming back to help out for a few days in January. A class act.



Phobia Friday™ – Maybe It’s Time for a Mac

Fear of Win8

I don’t have cyberphobia; I’m quite comfortable with computers.
But lately I’ve developed a bad case of defenestraphobia, the fear of windows. Specifically Windows 8.1. Our computer has been running very slowly and I haven’t been able to fix it. Until today.
The cure? An upgrade to Windows 10. Kind of like drinking arsenic to treat an allergy to almonds.
We’ll see if it works (I wrote this on my ipad).




Phobia Friday™ – Say it Louder 1


I think I’m developing allodoxaphobia – the fear of opinions.
There are just so many being thrown around now, especially on Facebook.
And they come on so strong. If I plan to vote for a different presidential candidate than you, I’m not simply misinformed. I must be an evil idiot.
Can’t argue with that.




photo: pixabay (public domain)

Phobia Friday™ – Don’t Get Crumbs in the Bed

I like this hamster’s style. Staying in bed today and eating leftovers sounds a lot more appealing than fighting the Black Friday shopping crowds.
Unless, of course, you have a “crumbs in the bed” phobia.
Not me. When my wife is away, the dog and I eat Doritos in bed.
Pass me the gravy from the nightstand.





video: mikesanman19